Ok, it took our traditionally silent partner, Ike, who wrote a whopping 25th comment on Betse's last blog to finally get me to write something new. Why? I guess I've had a serious case of writer's block. While the leaves are quickly dropping from the trees, I find myself in a complete flux. Here I am, suddenly at home with all my old responsibilities, put-off projects, overdue library books, and so on to deal with. On the plus side, I'm taking of advantage of precious time at home with my patient wife, smelly black lab and geriatric cat. Unfortunately, this joyful time is interrupted all too often by an annoying thing called work. With absolutely no adjustment period, I climbed out of The Chief in August and plopped right back into my old mediocre world of pushy teachers, aloof administrators, and needy students. And I wasn't ready.
Although touring this summer was often very difficult, I grew used to the rhythms of the road life. Each day was a new set of circumstances, an open road map, a new crowd to play for. When I finally turned in for the night, I was able to go to sleep in my bunk knowing that the next day would surely be the same- but completely different. I also got used to living with these three eccentric partners of mine. After a few weeks in The Chief, we all learned to anticipate and look out for each other's mood swings, how to share a very tight space, how to laugh off the small annoyances and how to sit down and talk about the bad stuff before it overheated to boiling and burned us all.
So here I am back at my stupid job and I'm bummed out. I miss it. Yes, I know my summer blogs were the ones most likely to get comments like, "hang in there, Phil. You're almost done!" and, "You'll look back someday and laugh!". But I never really meant to be a complainer. I was more interested in documenting the "real" story for everybody who was keeping tabs on us. Now that I look back at it, I guess I can see why people thought I was unhappy. But I'd trade endless meals at Subway and endless miles in The Chief for pointless committee meetings and passive/ aggressive emails any dang old day.
So, I am happy to report that I have decided to take the ultimate plunge. Our booking agent magnifico, Mary, has a full slate of shows for us in 2005. Prior to our summer tour, I had been holding out for assurance that the band can really do this full time. I found out that even under the worst circumstances, we can live and even thrive on the road. I've also been holding out for self assurance that I, personally, can really do this full time. Well I did it, and lived to tell the tale. Plus I did it, and now that I'm not doing it, I miss it. That's assurance enough for me right now. So, without disclosing too much in the way of detail, I can report that my seemingly endless 9-5 desk-job days are quickly falling off the calendar like so many leaves from the trees. Soon enough, I will be bare and cold and exposed to the elements. But spring is just around the corner. And I will welcome the warmth as I begin to embrace my new life as a full time Wilder. Keep reading. There's gonna be a lot more stories to come.
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